Monday, April 22, 2013

Mommy Guilt...will it ever go away?

Imagine this: your heart is ripped out, you are still alive and your heart is shook in front of you with such vigour that you feel the pain in your chest. Sorry for describing it like this, I dont mean to be a sadist, but thats the amount of pain I endured this past week when my child had a simple febrile seizure. She has had it twice earlier when she was nearly a year old and the pain was exactly the same.

I have been explained in detail by reputed doctors that simple febrile seizures are harmless especially the ones that has lasted for less than 2 minutes but still when as a mother I see her go throught it, my heart breaks and the guilt demon makes way so deep in me that I cant get rid of it.

Worst is when at the back of your mind the demon keeps telling you ways of how you could have avoided it "you should have given her the acetominophen even if her temperature was normal, you should have done this, you could have done that grrrrrrrr"

Life is much better now (thank god), with the kid doing great and back to normal. Atleast now I am saner, I still panic but at the same time I do respond wisely to such situations.

With all said, my next task is to get rid of this guilt demon. Any ideas how that can be done? What do you do to be a saner, wiser mother?

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